*Forgiveness is man's deepest need and God's greatest achievement.
It always takes courage to forgive. Dont wait until you feel like forgiving to forgive because you never will. I never feel like for forgiving. I usually feel like yelling and hitting, or withdrawing and giving up on the whole situation. However, forgiveness doesnt come out of my feelings; it comes out of will. That's one i've got to choose.
I have to say, when someone hurts me or lies about me, what i want to do is to bless that person with a brick! But i have learned that for my life to move forward unhindered, i must be a forgiver.
The truth is, i have been forgiven much... by my Creator when i have made stupid choices... by my family when i have let them down... by my friends when i have said the wrong thing. So, who am i to hold on to unforgiveness when i have been so forgiven? =)
We need to be willing to forgive when someone makes a mistake, says something she shouldn't,(that is usually my mistake!) forgets to call us back(okay, ive done that too!), is late for the appointment(oops!guilty again), doesnt respond the way we think she should. Offering forgiveness doesn't mean pretending the mistake didnt happen, it means acknowledging it and moving on.
Don't just open your heart again to be hurt if you have not talked about what went wrong. Offering forgiveness means letting go of the offense whether or not the other person says" i'm sorry". Of course, we all need to be willing to say we're sorry. In fact, go ahead and be the first, but don't wait to start forgiving until the other person says she's sorry too. If you wait for an apology before you begin to forgive, you are putting the power to forgive in the other person's hands when it actually belongs to you!
Relationships grow on forgiveness, not perfection. Offenses are going to come, so be ready to forgive.
Forgiveness isn't just a nice thing to do, i believe it is also a life and death issue. I remember talking with a man who had a life-threatening illness. This very ill man was extremely angry with someone who owed him three hundred dollars. It didnt appear he was going to get that sum of money back, and he was furious, shaking his fists and going red in the face. When i suggested that he go ahead and forgive the debt and the debtor since it didnt look as if he was going to be paid back, he became more angry. Should the debtor have paid his debts? ABSOULTELY! did the lender deserved to get his money back? YES! was it worth his life? This time- i dont think so. I believe it was the bitterness inside him that was killing him. Remember, dont let unforgiveness eat your insides up!
Forgiveness takes courage and can be difficult for us because it pulls against our concept of justice. We want revenge for offenses suffered.(oh sometimes, we just wont admit it, but we do!)We want God to bless the offenders with a lightning bolt. You may ask, "why should i let them off the hook?" thats the problem! : as long as you are holding back unforgiveness, you are hooked! Or you may say," you dont understand how much they hurt me!" But dont you see? they are still hurting you. you are living the betrayal, the offense, whatever the crime. You dont forgive the other person for his sake , you do it for your own sake, so that you can be free... free to love, free to be at peace, free to enjoy the day without being eaten up inside.
Being forgiving is not necessarily forgetting. If someone has hurt me, i'm going to choose to forgive, but i will not just immediately open up my heart again. I might give him/her a piece of my heart, to see if they can be trusted with that. Thats when guarding your heart comes in! :)
Jesus, king of forgiveness, told us that in the same way we forgive, we will be forgiven. Im pretty sure i am not finished making mistakes, so if i want forgiveness, i had better be quick to forgive.I seriously don't want to become a little old lady so full of bitterness that i drag it around!
I wonder if most hospitals- psychological and medical would be practically emptied if people could truely forgive... themselves for the crimes they commited and others for what was perpetrated against them.
I wonder whether most wars and other injustices would cease if we all could truely forgive. Just a thought.
I forgive you.
These are one of the biggest lessons i've learnt, in the midst of reading Holly Wagner's book: God Chicks. Thought i'd just shared it here! =)
