Its seven fourty in the morning. second day of chinese new year,but that excitement that use to fill me every chinese new year for the past fifteen years doesnt seem to exist anymore. guess its partly due to the fatigue tts in me. its been overwhelming and im tired, even emotionally. been in a state that i reckon no one understands, because i, myself dunch noe why im feeling the way im feeling. Despite all these, God's been good. I still remembered what i encouraged some of my CG members to do last week. To praise and lift His name up high, esp during the times u least feel like it. To me, hearing God is never a chore, its been refreshing and knowing that He's always there has been really comforting.=)
As i stepped out of the car yesterday night, and glanced at what was above me...it brought a smile across my face. The whole sky was literally filled with stars! i still remember what sam said as we sat along the jetty at kongkong. *The harder and longer u stare into the sky, the more stars u'll see, sometimes, they'll get even brighter* i guess its true cos the longer i stared at it, the brighter they shone and it felt like God was telling me something. I was entranced.
Upon arriving home, i rushed into the bathroom, got washed up and i did quiet time by my bedside, where i could clearly see the beautiful stars that were twinkling away. Sudddenly, thoughts ran thru ma' head. As we all learnt in geography, stars only fill the skies when no rain's going to come, and it means that its a fine day, with great weather. sigh, but that also means, if no rain was going to come, no rainbow will appear after the rain stops. Clouds are pretty too! they're all fluffy and by just looking at them everymorning when im down at the parade square during assembly, it brightens my whole day up! But....if clouds were to fill the sky at night, it also means that we cant see the twinkle of the stars once again, because, the clouds will be blocking them. So see? we cant expect to have clouds, rainbows and stars up in the sky at the same time yeh?yups! we cant always have things going our way...we cant always have the best of both worlds, and i have been learning. If i want to choose MY own way and to have things go according to MY way...it will definitely be not the way God wants me to head. Decisions, choices.I guess all of you have been thru a stage where serious decisions have to be made and hey! remember to seek Jesus with all your heart and choose the way He's planned out for you.=)
Alrights, i noe im sounding really dumb, talking about stars, clouds and rainbows eatly in the morning...but to me, these things represent God's love for everyone.Imagine this, God knows every name of the every star he placed up into the sky, what more about u? He noes your deepest hurts and he knows all thats within you, but sometimes, its all up to u, whether u want to surrender everything to him, or to rely on your own strength. This whole issue about surrendering to God my everything has been in me for quite some time. Some yrs back, i surrendered certain things to Jesus. It took me quite some time to give everything back to Him but soon He restored all the hurt tt i was going thru. But as i look back, it pains me being able to remember certain beautiful moments_______*im not even left with memories. but no matter what happens, i will still thk God for bringing me thru that trying period of my life and i'll still choose to praise Him, because i noe that He has everything planned out for me.
LOL. im gonna get changed and set out for another round of visitation.hmmms~i miss joanne.i really do!
Dreams are the nicest things one can ever have. They're beautiful but most of the time, they aint real. Certain dreams make u wake up smiling, but that smile on your face will soon be wiped out when u realised ure back in reality and everything tt u dreamt of probably aint real at all. Then, tears may stream down yr face instead.Still remembered the dream u told me abt, yes, it was beautiful, wished it was real...but i reckon, now since things are this way....it can ever come true. I want to have everything re-enacted again.
